The methods I’d like to share with you are as follows:
- To begin with, you should learn at least to stop, to restrain yourself – not to yell in response to a provocation or an insult. Your first step should be, prior to saying something (or to starting yelling), to count to ten or to take a deep breath and to exhale for three times. If you manage to do it, it’s time to move on to the next step – to learn to extinguish one or another emotion or, at first, at least to stop, to block it. It will allow getting a respite and thinking before you say something. Learn to extinguish emotions gradually – at the beginning, you will probably need even to leave the room to calm down (to do it, breathe deeply for some time, drink some water) and to think what to say, and then to return and to resume the conversation. With time, you will be able to stop your emotions using just your willpower, without leaving the room and other auxiliary measures;
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- Method of switching over. It is a good method for those who have a fertile imagination. You can, for example, imagine that the person who is swearing at you is reading to you some beautiful poem, and thank him/her for this, saying mentally: “I love you very much, too!” This method allows preventing negative emotions from emerging, however, as I said above, it is good not for everyone, but only for cheerful and creative people;
- Method of making another person to switch over. Let’s say, your boss is yelling at you. In this situation, you can wait until he/she stops yelling and calmly ask with a smile: “Would you like me to sing a song for you?” Chances are, he/she will be taken aback and won’t yell anymore. This method helps prevent an emotional outburst in oneself and block negative emotions in another person;
- Yoga breathing and meditation. The former helps gain calmness; the latter, apart from calming down, allows to observe one’s emotions, to see their causes and to remove them, reprogramming one’s usual reaction;
- The technique “identification”. It consists in identifying with some character and in acting and reacting just like him/her (“How would this gentle knight/great lady act?”). This technique, as is the case with the aforementioned method of switching over, suits creative people with luxuriant imagination;
- Prayer. If you are a religious person, it will work. When you feel that you are about to lose control, start praying – ask God to take away your negative thoughts, emotions, and intentions and to give you what you need most of all in this situation: strength, patience, kindness, ability to forgive your offender, wisdom, etc;
- Physical exercise. If you feel that negative emotions have accumulated inside you and you are about to explode, you can either do 20 to 50 push-ups, or run for 20 minutes at a pretty quick pace, or hit a punch bag for some time, etc. An intense workout is a great way to blow off steam.
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