So, if you want to be bolder, here are some guidelines you should follow:
BECOME INDEPENDENT OF THE JUDGMENT OF OTHERS. It is difficult to please everybody. Therefore, learn not to be supersensitive to criticism. If you nevertheless fail to relax and still worry about what other people may think of you, remember this saying: “Don’t care what others think of you – they worry too much about what you think of them”.
GET RID OF CONTROL FREAKS. Identify people who constantly try to control you, to obtrude their opinion upon you; who always criticize you hard. Having identified them cut them out of your life or, if it is impossible, at least try to keep your distance.
LIKE YOU AS YOU ARE. If you are shy because you dislike something about you (a character trait, a physiological property, etc) and try to conceal and not to demonstrate it, then ask yourself: “What makes me try so hard to conceal this property from other people? What will happen if I accept it and then reveal it to others?” Learn to see yourself as others see you; learn to see yourself without bias, judgment or blame. This neutral “seeing from outside” will gradually evoke in you positive emotions, the feeling of joy and love both of the whole world and for yourself as a part of this world. Direct this love at what you dislike in yourself.
 |
| Picture from triplepundit.com |
PAY MORE ATTENTION TO YOUR APPEARANCE. If your shyness is due to the fact that you are doubtful of your visual attractiveness, pay attention to it, work to improve your looks. If you are on a tight budget, then just make sure that your clothes are clean and neat.
YOU SHALL NOT MAKE FOR YOURSELF AN IDOL. If you are upset because you don’t look like somebody, try to understand – where did you get this role model from? Consider the possibility of not comparing yourself with anybody. Ascribing omnipotence to somebody and trying to imitate him/her, we develop inferiority complex and shyness. In addition, we deprive ourselves of our individuality as well of the possibility of self-improvement.
IMPROVE SOCIAL SKILLS. Socialize with people (the more the better) and improve your skills that are necessary for communication: sociability, ability to listen, to ask questions, to verbalize ideas. Improve your vocabulary and familiarize yourself with the rules of constructive criticism.
THE BEST IMPROVISATION IS A CAREFULLY PREPARED ONE. If shyness prevents you from normal socialization, then (as a temporary measure) try not to get into unfamiliar situations. Plan in advance what you will do in one or another situation. Prepare for what may happen. Rehearse how you will act in different situations.
YOU HAVE A RIGHT FOR… When you feel uneasy during communication, remember that everyone has a right: the right for independence, the right to evaluate one’s acts and feelings on one’s own, the right to make mistakes and to be responsible for one’s deeds, the right to say “no”, the right not to justify oneself, the right not to be liked, the right not to know something, the right to make ridiculous and illogical decisions – of course, if it does no harm to others. So, if you try to do something but don’t manage to do it the way you want – don’t get upset. Give yourself permission to make mistakes – because you have the right to make them.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST: shyness is not a thing to be ashamed of. So, work on overcoming it, but don’t underestimate yourself because you still have it.
Now that you know how to get over shyness, I’d like to recommend you a tool that will greatly facilitate solving the problem of being shy as well as any other psychological problem. The tool in question is a computer program that will allow you to reprogram your mind through suggestion. You will be able to suggest yourself anything you want and to become not only bolder, but also more productive, more creative, calmer, happier, etc. FOLLOW THIS LINK TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS UNIQUE TOOL.
EmoticonEmoticon