So, here are the guidelines for overcoming the fear in question:
- This kind of fear, as well as lots of other fears, has its roots in childhood. Now, it is deeply ingrained, because many years have passed since it arose. Thus, starting to fight it, remember: it will disappear gradually, not overnight. So, be patient and persistent;
- Fear can be useful when it serves as a signal of danger. But in our situation, there is NO actual danger. Thus, this signal is FALSE. When fear is not useful and gives false signals – just like ours – psychologists recommend to go toward it, to step forward. Allow yourself being more open, be in no haste to discontinue a relationship. But, of course, you are not obliged to let anybody violate your personal boundaries. Give feedback telling what you like and what you dislike;
- Fear of relationships is fear of mental pain. However, when we stay away from relationships or discontinue them because of our fear, we feel the same pain. And we deprive ourselves of the chance to learn what would happen if we stayed together. Does it make any sense to deprive ourselves of chances and opportunities? Remember: what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. So, don’t be afraid: venture to continue a relationship – and you will be surprised to the upside!
- It is advisable to base any relationship on some rules. Do you remember what I said earlier about personal boundaries? Those boundaries make relationships comfortable. And rules developed by the partners help to build the boundaries. It is important that the rules are endorsed by both partners and observed by them. If there are no rules, if personal boundaries are violated, then irritation arises. Bursts of irritation harm relationships and eventually destroy them;
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- Try not to violate personal boundaries of other people. Be polite, don’t touch somebody’s belongings without his/her permission, don’t come unannounced, etc. Those who are not able to maintain their own boundaries often cannot feel the boundaries of other people. So – start with yourself;
- Allow others to get to know you better – but gradually, bit by bit. If they don’t accept you as you are, then you are probably not a good match. Don’t take it to heart! Appreciate those who accept you;
- Learn to listen to others – it will help you to understand them. Observe people – and you will understand them without a word. And always discuss with your partner things you are not comfortable with. Any issues can be settled without quarrels and breakups.
One cannot be happy without intimate and lasting relationships. Fear of relationships makes us unhappy. Above, I gave some guidelines for fighting this nasty fear. And now, I’d like to recommend you a tool that will greatly facilitate overcoming the fear in question as well as any other fear and, in general, any other mental problem. This tool is a computer program that, through suggestion, will allow you to reprogram your mind. Using this program, you can change yourself any way you need (get rid of mental disorders, perfect yourself, feel happier, etc). Another great thing about this wonderful tool is that it works while you just sit at the computer doing what you want (during suggestion, affirmations are sent directly to your subconscious, your conscious is bypassed, so you don’t need to actively participate in the process). FOLLOW THIS LINK TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS UNIQUE TOOL.
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