My first advice will be the following: if you are not self-confident, don’t blame your parents/relatives/whoever else for it. It is counterproductive. Just accept that your insecurity is a fact, and that it should be dealt with. Period. What is done cannot be undone, so blaming (actually, shifting the responsibility to other shoulders) will do no good in this situation. What you need to do is to perfect yourself to neutralize your shortcoming in question, being aware that it’s in your hands and assuming full responsibility for the results of the work on self-perfection. At that, you shouldn’t be harsh on yourself – assuming responsibility doesn’t imply self-punishing.
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| Picture from psytreasure.com |
Now, what can you do to become more self-confident? First of all, get motivated – decide why you should build your self-confidence. Motivation will provide you with incentives (such as earning more money after a promotion at work; having a girlfriend/boyfriend, etc) which will facilitate your self-improvement work, because you will now know what you will get in requital.
Here’s an example: you are too timid to ask your boss for a promotion (but you know you deserve it!). Think about it in that way: if I ask for it, and will be promoted, my salary will increase by so-and-so much. Wow, how great it will be! It is definitely worth doing! If, on the other hand, I ask for the promotion, but nevertheless won’t be promoted, I will lose nothing!
The last sentence of the previous paragraph can be developed into a tip in itself – and it is, in fact, my next tip: BE BOLDER! Don’t be afraid to try, to ask, etc. As the saying goes, don’t be afraid to fail, be afraid not to try. In most cases, you have nothing to lose if you “fail”, but if you don’t try, you will GUARANTEEDLY not get what you would like to. You get the idea.
While the above tips are, as it were, general (they rather deal with APPROACHES to working on confidence building), now, I will give you some more concrete advice on how to have self-confidence. Here they are:
- Pay attention to how you conduct yourself. You see, not only your behavior depends on how you feel (on your internal sensations), but also your feelings depend on your behavior! So, if your gestures, looks, bearing, and manner of speaking constantly express self-confidence, this self-confidence will, in the end, arise inside you (but be patient – it won’t happen overnight). Observe self-confident people: what are their manners, how do they behave? Try to behave in the same way;
- Pay attention to your appearance. How do you dress? Are you in good physical shape? If you are dressed neatly and fashionably, if you are fit, your appearance won’t make you think something is wrong about you, and the corresponding negative thoughts won’t affect your behavior;
- Be competent – try to be good at what you busy yourself with. The deeper your knowledge, the more self-confident you are;
- Be proactive. Positive results of your acts will serve as excellent self-confidence reinforcement;
- Help others. You will see that you can offer something to other people, that you can do something useful for them and, in this fashion, that you can be important. It will be a great source of self-confidence!
Now that you know how to have self-confidence, I’d like to recommend you a tool that will greatly facilitate this task of yours. The tool in question is a computer program, the work of which is based on suggestion. The program receives your instructions and then sends affirmations directly to your unconscious mind, reprogramming it. So, to boost your self-confidence, you will just have to launch the application. You can give the program any instructions, so you can not only build your self-confidence, but also solve other problems (get rid of anxiety or depression, lose weight, become more productive or more creative, etc). FOLLOW THIS LINK TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS UNIQUE TOOL.
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