So, to improve social skills, follow these guidelines:
- Identify things that are interesting both for you and for people you want to socialize with. It is necessary so that others are interested in talking with you. How to find such things? Just let your interlocutor speak, let him tell you what he wants to tell – and listen to what he says. You can also ask leading questions if the situation allows it;
- Be helpful. People are not obliged to socialize with you. To encourage a person to talk with you, you should not only identify things both of you are interested in, but also be helpful with those things. So, tell your interlocutor about something that may prove useful for him;
- Be a smart and interesting interlocutor. If you know a lot of things, if you have some interesting abilities and skills, this greatly raises the prospect of mutually pleasant communication;
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| Picture from etatrust.org.uk |
- Be witty. Amusing people, you not only please them – you also demonstrate them your communicative value. Nobody likes bores. Nobody likes clichés. Instead, everybody likes spontaneous wit;
- Don’t be annoying. The overwhelming majority of people like socializing. If they have free time and are in the vein, they can talk with anybody. But if their potential interlocutor has bad manners, they will definitely be scared off by them. Those bad manners include: sniffing, constant sighing, shifty eyes, filler words, speaking too loudly or too low, style of speaking full of mistakes, inappropriate or obscene gestures;
- Be proactive. A lot of people are annoyed by lack of initiative, passivity of the interlocutor. That’s why you should, at least sometimes, take initiative and talk about topics in which you are interested more than your conversation partner;
- Be self-confident – but within reasonable limits. If a person behaves diffidently, it is indicative of his low social status. Few people want to socialize with a low-status person, so be self-confident – but not excessively (a much higher status of the interlocutor makes communication strained and asymmetric);
- Don’t rush things. If you met somebody, let your relationship develop gradually and naturally. Don’t try to chum in with this person prematurely;
- Everyone wants to be heard – so listen! People usually like sharing their achievements and problems, but not every one of them has his audience. So, a listener may turn out to be a valuable person. Listen, nod, ask clarifying questions;
- Be ready to forgive. Remember: nobody is perfect, so be tolerant.
Such is the answer to the question “How to be sociable?” But this is not the whole story. Do you remember about the tool I promised to recommend you at the beginning of the post? This tool will help you become more social making you uninhibited, less shy, more open, more cheerful, etc. The tool in question is a computer program that, through affirmations sent to your subconscious mind, transforms your personality (this transformation happens all by itself, you don’t need to make any effort on your part). FOLLOW THIS LINK TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS UNIQUE TOOL.
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